Love Heals

Not too long ago, I had a life-changing moment.

I witnessed an exasperated woman frantically trying to feed a toddler. She was talking very loudly in a high-pitched voice seemingly trying to shove food into the toddler's mouth. I couldn't believe my eyes. My first impression was shock and dismay.

Then, I realized what I was seeing. My second thought was understanding.

The toddler was pursing his lips and shaking his head back and forth, avoiding the offending spoon, while the well-intentioned grandmother—who was worried the child wasn't eating—was desperately trying to get coax him into eating. She wasn't being forceful, she was just so exasperated and frenetic that her begging had gotten louder and higher pitched, amping up the child's reaction, and making the situation worse.

A second relative, the child's aunt, came up to the toddler, held his hand, and asked the frustrated grandmother for the spoon. The aunt received the spoon and put it down on the table and just held the baby's hand stroking it while smiling at the child.

Then she scooped up some food from his dish and inched the spoon toward his mouth. When the baby noticed the spoon and started to purse his lips and shake his head, she playfully pulled it away. The toddler stopped and laughed in surprise.

Then she did it again and the child laughed again when she pulled the spoon away, but this time, he'd moved toward the spoon. The third time, she let him have the food in the spoon and the baby laughed in triumph. He ate the rest of the food like a champion, looking up at her and grinning triumphantly after every bite.

After seeing that, my third thought was "love heals". Let me explain.

The grandmother in this situation was coming from a place of love but fear and desperation were driving her approach. Plus, after a very long day, a toddler in the midst of their hyper stage, and some tantrums, frustration and exhaustion were setting in for both grandma and baby. It took a fresh, more compassionate, and playful approach to create a breakthrough.

This scenario happened in with people I know very well, so I know that both people—the child's grandmother and the aunt—came from deep love toward the toddler. However, the way that that love was expressed in that moment was what made the difference.

I was deeply impacted by what I had seen, and later that evening as I thought about the situation, I experienced a visceral understanding of the phrase "love heals".

We've all heard the phrase and we all know it to be true from an intellectual perspective. However, what I witnessed was how the "expression" of that love can make the difference.

Someone can love someone else but the expression of that love is blurred or muddied by frustration, distraction, a long day, hurt, resentment, jealousy, and/or fear, among other things.

I've seen that in my own family and experienced it first-hand as the expression of my love toward other people has been blurred or muddied. I blamed them first and then I blamed myself.

It took me a really long time to see that how I was feeling had nothing to do with them and it wasn't about blame at all. It was about healing. I had to look at what was blurring and muddying my expression of love toward that other person and that's when healing could begin.

The same goes for the expression of love toward ourselves. Man, I've been hard on myself. Although not often, I've said some really awful things to myself, things I would never say to or about someone else, and I've expressed frustration with myself for some reason or another.

On those occasions, the expression of my love for myself was blurred and muddied. I realized that it wasn't about the mean things I was saying to myself or my frustration at all. It was about healing.

Now, when I feel frustration toward myself or others, I take a look at what is muddying and blurring the expression of love so the healing can begin.

That's where I am today. I'm healing. The expression of love toward myself is clearer than ever.

I take care of my mind, body and spirit. I consciously take care of what I eat, what I say to myself, and how I treat my body, such that I clearly express love to myself.

That one moment changed how I express love toward myself and others, and it also gave me insight into how to heal myself and recognize when others are hurting. While confusing and shocking at first, a few seconds of reflection and understanding of what I witnessed changed me and my relationships forever. I feel more peaceful and centered, and I'm able to express love more purely. I'm grateful for that.

Consider where the expression of your love toward yourself and others could be getting muddied or blurry. What can you see that needs healing inside of you?

Learn more about how you can express 10x the amount of love for yourself, feel more peaceful, and more zen in our upcoming online workshop, Peaceful Revolution: 10X Your Zen.